chris brown:)

thoughts.random thoughts.

Once upon time life was simple assholes for boyfriends weren't acceptable, people could voice their thoughts and opinions with out being judged.

I forgot how much I love to smile and admire the beauty around me. Today while talking to a friend she told me I was inspiring and sometimes I forget to stop, breathe and remember I am human, and I need to accept that i'm not perfect but, i'm my kind of perfect. I've been thru some crazy things, thru it all I try to smile and get on. I will never let anyone take my joy away ever again, for some reason regardless of all the horrible luck i've had with love I still have hope that one day i'm gonna find someone who completely sweeps me off my feets:) Part of the reason of why i'm so hopeful is I have this amazing strong bond with my family and that unconditional love they give is something I want to share with someone there aren't many people I love so, when I love, I love hard.I'd do anything for those couple few

Part of me blogging has helped me straighten out my feelings considering I kinda suck at putting myself out there. At times if felt as if I was an emotionless monster cause the only feeling that came out was anger.

Being happy is so much easier then being angry. "The most beautiful people are the ones who have gone thru the most traumatic experiences, and thru it all they still manage to keep faith and never stop smiling"

God has blessed me with the strength to get thru each day. Never question his motives his plans are always better than anything you might have in mind he's amazing and his love for us is more than we can imagine.

Holding onto hope.

"when will I see you again, you left with no goodbye not a single word was said, when was the last time you thought of me or have you completely erased me from your memory."

A moment, a chance that opportunity waiting around the corner all have the drastic ability to change your life in an instant if you take that chance it's crazy how something that can seem so small and insignificant can change you in ways unimaginable, and the part that trips me out the most is that you don't even realize its happening. I fell into the victim of new and for once all those feeling that I thought id never get back happened all over again,rushing and consuming me quickly with everything. 

What am I doing

What are we doing

We started here but now we're way over there

Where is the rush is it still there

You're my new the exciting the different 

Or are you really the same 

I feel like once you've had one you've had them all

The truth... after a while they all feel the same

Whats happening between us 

Am I just your every now and again source of entertainment

I told you everything you needed to know

Because you weren't him

I let all my fears go and dove in head first

I'm dedicating all this time when I really shouldn't be

Its way to early for mistakes 

Do you really mean what you say when no one's around 

The feeling, the physical, the affection 

The coexistence of anyone or anything else and drowned out sound in full room

That was everything, a simple feeling but it was everything

Its like you read me, and the wanting you turns more into a need

Missing you just because, is this what love does

Blinds us all, and rebirths old insecurities 

Takes us away from the truth

When is it right to let go 

This run eneded before it really began

Now all I know is

All I want is you

miss you stranger not one day has gone by that I haven't thought of you,or been caught in a moment thinking of what was as oppose to what is. My heart hurts and its a reminder i miss you. Opportunity granted me you and chance led me here with the purest heart my good intentions resulted into you bad decisions. Now we're here stuck...How can you be attached to something that almost never was,I should be over it and I DO know better but its just not the case. I'll always wonder what if and why. Have you really just become the one that got away?