Bitter is the Sweetest Part

As easy it is for me to put my feelings into words sometimes its scary to share it with the world. But the fact that I put it out there is not for any one to judge this is my space to share my thoughts,feelings and hope that has saved me to inspire to help someone else.

Here it is its the fall again, always always always get to this point of the year where time just seems to fly by. The past year has been crazy for me I can honestly say that all ive done is continue to learn who I am. If I could say anything to the me of last November I wouldn't say anything because at that point in time I was the happiest I have ever been I fully did exactly what I wanted when I wanted to, I focused on my happiness it was the most beautiful experience of my life. Is it selfish to say I wasn't in a relationship or even involved with anyone so my happiness was the only happiness, maybe I've just come to learning to perfecting me and involving anyone else in the equation has made fall in t panic mode when I feel im not getting the respect I know I deserve, never will I settle for less ever never ever again. Here I am come November again questioning what the fuck I'm doing, and if i'm really happy? Today while at starbucks I heard a song by Adele called chasing pavements and I felt my life unraveling in the song "should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements." Everyone questions themselves of the riddle life throws at us. I know what I want, I wish to share that with someone who believes in what they want as well. I want an unselfish love where it should never be a question to what we need together it will always be us together thru anything. People need to understand that a functioning relationship takes both partners giving themselves wholly,fully and selfishly. Im not perfect at relationships obviously, if I was im pretty sure i'd still be in a functioning one. But what I'e learned from all the screwups is what NOT to do. So, yes lets not make those mistakes lets take what you know didnt work and what I know and put it together like a perfect equation. as corny and cliche as that may sound that is how the best one tend to work.