I dont expect anyone to understand, the reason why I do things the way I do them, lately I've embraced every situation the best I know how, for me thats new im always the preserved one who'll take the quiet safe route just so nobody gets hurt. The one time I step out and actually live a little everyone around me freaks out, Im not expecting to fall in love over night I just want to be me, I feel stuck with no personal space a part of that is my fault for wanting to share with everyone how im feeling or my current joy, in that ive ended up here where I always do where the thrill is gone,and I find myself looking for the nearest exit, the escape route im looking for is due to the ones who say they love me, you dont have to understand but accepting it would be nice...I guess the way I feel is everyone keeps bring up my past saying it was better you have no idea how miserable and unhappy I was having someone always over shadow you and make you feel not good enough, I only let you see what I wanted you to you dont truly fully dont know the reality or the truth to what was. You saw the outside of the show that was put on...that even I fell for, you all dont know how much I hurt from that, part of the reason why I am the way I am is because of all that no one understands me or how I operate, im fed up with everyones input. I'm looking for a way out.
Don't judge me now, i'm not trying to hurt you,
I know this wont make you proud.
Did I let you down, are you ashamed of how I turned out
You see a monster I see a smile
you say its danger and i'm in denial
somehow I feel so safe right now...
so I guess i'm a fool.
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