If you have to wonder, its not from the heart.

In a perfect world, you would be here certain words wouldn't be exchanged, inspiration for writing wouldn't be expressed through terrible situations that have occurred in life, they say that the people with the coldest hearts were the ones who once had the most sensitive caring hearts, and someone came in an destroyed all that making a heart turn black and cold. A breakdown occurs when someone is consistently pushed over the edge, in my case there aren't many people that I love so when I love, I love hard and pure, people seem to take advantage of how far ill go. I feel like i'm in a lonely uncomfortable place and the worst part about being in a situation like this is feeling like you have no one, I take full advantage of a situation like this to sit down analyze and revaluate the horrid things that have just taken full affect. I'm not one to get caught up in many emotions, and feelings. Regret occurs from time to time...I never buy into it all it does it take me further away from me. I personally wish I had a tactic on dealing with things, I put away certain feelings and thoughts to protect myself and before I know it someone comes around knocks me clear out of the way and all those emotions come squealing out and i'm in the middle of an emotional breakdown, not knowing how to clearly deal with this so many different feelings, thoughts, words. For me caring for someone and loving someone are two different things and when together they go hand in hand, if you love someone that love will be there unconditionally no matter what, to care for someone is more of a in the moment type thing. Getting slapped in the face consistently by someone who say the love AND care about you makes you start to wonder whats really real?... I've been pushed away and now its to the point where I have to prove I made the right decision for myself and really get what I deserve, because I love myself I always put myself first even if it hurts me. I guess as cliche as it sounds I truly "found love in a hopeless place."

So for anyone dealing with an emotion battle amongst yourself stay strong, if you've made it this far you'll be amazed what a little faith and prayer can do. Loving you is the most important thing, you have to want it for yourself and the possibilities after that are endless everyone has a breakdown every now and than its how you let it affect you that counts, get back up focus on you do what makes you happy everything else will fall into place in time.