damn...my reality just set in

My frustration with people lately has been over the top, my level of I DONT GIVE A FUCK has been at all time high, maybe it has to do with the fact that i'm working on me as a person, i've just never really realized how selfish people can be and how long they'll play out the victim card its like at one point or another just get over it and move forward with life things aren't that bad, theres a whole beautiful world around you so much to learn and do why focus on all the negative things there so many positive things to be grateful about. I out of all people understand the whole grieving and hurting process...but really? like whats the point of holding a grudge, in the bible Jesus say to forgive and continue to forgive nobody's perfect and you sure as hell aren't God so who are you to hold something over anyones head and if you can't forgive and move forward your just showing how selfish you really are. As for me I can say at this point  in time of my life people have done some cruel things to me, I have no animosity towards anyone things that have happened in the past are over and done with...nothing I can change, the past is the past and it belongs in the past because you cant change it your suppose to just move on and learn from it.

I've just been keeping to myself lately because I just feel there's no one I can really relate to anymore, conversation is something I enjoy mentally I can take you there and back I love talking to people and learning new things the mind is such a beautiful thing we've been blessed with so why stop educating ourselves knowledge is power, Im just starting to enjoy spending more and more time alone, thinking, reading, and learning. Music has been my best friend thru all this, cause it can take me back to a certain memory by just listening to a certain song, I can relive something, its therapeutic I like to listen and be inspired by words that actually mean something. The other day I was drinking red wine of my favorite things ever:) and listening to instrumentals it was one of the greatest escapes I've ever had I did lots of planning set goals and just thought, it was a freeing feeling, I encourage all of you reading this just to let go of the past, insecurities, people you feel that are holding you back again this always comes back to you, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. I mean I'm not that old I'm 21 years old but, I feel like in that time period I've done some pretty cray things...we've all done things were not proud of but that was in the past and i've learned from them I'm a different person i'd be damned if I make the same mistake twice, I only allow myself to fuck up once and get the fuck on with it,thats life...something I'm learning is to "LET GO, LET GOD." It's hard but trust he's there and he loves you more than anyone else could more than you can imagine so trust him and its amazing how far a little faith can go.

on the brighter side it is Valentines Day and a, Happy Valentines day indeed it has been for me:)