I'D never break the promises I made to MYSELF.

I'm ME. 

Those who can't accept ME and love ME for ME, can keep it pushing, I'm so tired of caring for everyone else's feelings. I was afraid to be alone and just accept the way things are but now I'VE just gotten to the point, I wanna make ME happy I wanna love ME again I wanna learn who I am again. Somewhere in the past couple of years I'VE lost MYSELF, I let peoples words just destruct what I'M about, I cared to much for others' feelings not enough for MY own,there aren't many people I trust and love so when I love, I love hard, but all it's brought ME is hurt and confusion if someone really loves ME why would they hurt ME or leave ME, NO MORE NEGATIVITY, I DON'T WANT IT! I DON'T NEED IT, I'M MAKING A CHANGE.I wanna be better than who I was before all this, I know back than I was secure with MYSELF and I loved MYSELF, I loved who I was, no one could say anything to hurt ME. At time I was SELFISH but it was ok cause it was for ME to protect MYSELF from something like this happening. No one will ever understand the hurt and insecurities that have been set in over time, thats just fine with ME. Life will be different and now be lived to the fullest with no regrets, cause for once its gonna be about ME. What I, I'VE,I'D,MY, ME, MYSELF, is all that matters no one can change how I feel but ME, so its time to accept reality and move on forward to what I want, "I'M so sorry I'M so SELFISH."

and yes, this is about ME.

Glory

God Makes NO Mistakes.

houstatlantavegas.

"She live in a mindset that I could never move to, until you find yourself it's impossible to loose you...because I never had you, all tho I would be glad to, I probably go and tattoo... your name on my heart, I swear...I start to think... that i'm going crazy...."

At times I feel like I'm stuck in this world,my own world that i've created based off all my experiences good and bad ones. Just a safe place for me that pushes me to want more for myself and the drive to pursue it,sometimes it can be a cold,lonely place that no one understands its the addiction to the money and the life you dream of that keeps me here and focused I want it and wont settle for anything less of it. Lately, I've gone thru things with personal ties to me friendship and relationship wise that have pushed me even further to NOT letting people get close to me, in the end it will always be me who made me who I am, you'll meet people thru out life that will influence,guide you and if your lucky stick with you thru it all but, initially you are here alone everything that happens will be because you did it, it's ok to be selfish for yourself, I've learned that If I want something I'm gonna work the above and waaaay beyond to get it to not just be above someone but beyond them. Houstatlantavegas is that place the first time I heard this song I just sunk into the words and you think that its about a stripper...but, really its not it goes way deeper than the words, its about someone who wants this life and no ones gonna stop them from getting it, you don't ask anyone for help you learn who you are thru the process and people will come in and out of your life but thru it all you become what your destined for, to maintain this lifestyle you cant get sucked into the pettiness of what people have to say or try do to you. Just be YOU. Nothing else matters.

Come Winter

don't you go getting married, don't you go get engaged, i know your getting older don't got no time to waste.

RollingStone.

babygirl.

Amaya came over and were having date night together cause we're snowed in:) she puts a smile on my face babies really do come from heaven, she's the comfort I need at a time like this...my favorite itty-bitty precious tiny person,love you babygirl.

...i like the thrill

breathe.

sometimes I still need you...

Get Inspired

So obviously I admire Drake for his music and how deep and real his music is I'm an all around drake enthusiast, lyrically he just speaks on real situations that you can relate to, when you listen to his music its almost like you know him,so many of the things he talks about almost everyones has witnessed in their own life at one point or another. He's truly just an amazing artist. So Far Gone is really such an inspiring mixtape if you've never listened I highly recommend it! That was a marking point in my life whenever I listen to it I go back to a place I was at one point in my life and relive those memories and moments thru music. Take Care is his current album it's EPIC I still to this day listen to the whole cd thru and not get sick of it, it's now become part of my daily routine to listen to Drake he's motivating sometimes you just listen to it and you shake your head and say damn...hahah. His whole movement OVOXO is become so BIG. Also, including The Weeknd he's part of the whole XO gang,he too is such an amazing, talented person who writes about these real life predicaments, his voice is like no other its pure sex haha House of Balloons was my summer anthem just as So Far Gone listening to his music you can relate to so much of it, Thursday was a dark soundtrack of love songs two songs that really stuck out to me were, The zone and Rolling Stone. Echoes of Silence is his latest and I have to say greatest the whole album gives you the heartbreak, real, I dont give a fuck what you think music feel you can just zone out listening! The way the music fades out at the end of each song is almost like its one really long song. I will post links, go listen! Take time and go explore listen and enjoy I promise you wont be disappointed.
Also, official websites http://octobersveryown.blogspot.com/ & http://the-weeknd-xo.com/
So Far Gone Link GO DOWNLOAD!
http://www.drizzydrake.org/drake-mixtapes/drake-so-far-gone-mixtape-2009/
Take Care & Thank Me Later is available on itunes or in store! GO BUY!
House of Balloons GO DOWNLOAD!
http://hulkshare.com/v7ctxjqiij6s
Thursday GO DOWNLOAD!
Download The Weeknd - Thursday
Echoes Of Silence GO DOWNLOAD!
http://hulkshare.com/wyqfsf4ovgiz/ZpO3e2dAqv0p.zip

Support Good Music

Obsessed

I found this new band I don't think there new but new to me and they're AMAZING so soothing chill and relaxed!

THE XX- Hot like fire

They have a bunch of other songs but this is my current favorite! I suggest you listen :)

Love from a distance.

A sense of comfort has been set in me after last night after a conversation with someone close to me, I feel like I can finally breathe again the reassurance of everything is gonna be ok, It was EXACTLY what I needed. It was pointed out to me not only was this person close to me on intimate levels this person was someone I confided in like a best friend...so when they walked out of my life not only did I loose a confidant, but my best friend too, it was a breath of fresh air to be able to put feelings and drama aside and just talk for hours about life, the past, the future and most importantly now...I felt warm and loved from a afar despite the differences and the past i've had with this person they will always and forever be someone close to my heart. They say "distance makes the heart grow fonder." I know the distance for us in previous situations made things more difficult. When your just so infatuated with someone you wanna spend all your time with them and in our case we didnt have the privilege to do so. We tried to make the best of it and it didnt work for the most part it started to become alot of work alot hurtful things were said "and they just words but they cut deep" (hahaha oh Drake he always has the right thing to say) so for us the outcome was just better if we stayed away but thats been the hard part, something keeps pulling us back love?...does it actually exist in this cruel,jealous world full of hate. So to have the time to be able to talk and not fight was great progress maybe were actually becoming adults...scary.

But never will I get that little bit of hope in me thinking everything will be ok again now, I hope in the future when all is said and done we can be at a place of peace with each other and have the future we always talked and dreamed of he knows as well as I do that's where our hearts are.

xoxoRanita

New People

Have you ever talked to someone and they just catch your attention? You would rather talk to them then do more important things? But the part that gets you is they only see you as a friendship. Or they have someone else in mind. Just know its better to be there then try to get them. At the end theyll realize who was there for them, learn patience.

-Nigelxo

You Trippin'

Ungrateful bitch, fake hoe. A relationship consist of two people not the whole world. So you can tell your immature friends they can shut they mouths. Maybe you forgot who was there in the beginning, i gave you everything you know. For you to doubt me and take their side is pretty fucked up. So FUCK YOU and I MEAN THAT.

-Nigelxo

FUCK THAT NIGGA

Somehow i end up like this at gatherings.... Never enjoying myself. FUCK THAT NIGGA THAT YOULL ONE DAY LOVE, HE CAN HAVE YOUR HEART I STILL WONT GIVE A FUCK...

please.

why am I still up...I guess my thoughts won't give me a break a bottle of wine sounds amazing right about now...listening to so far gone to soothe my mind...

I want pleaseee im obsessed with hello kitty!

ReFUCKINGlaxx.

reminder

Let it be.

Affairs of the Heart.

"Am I really surprised?"...no not really.Right back at where I started and I can't say it doesn't hurt anymore than the first time, honesty I just got to the point were ZERO FUCKS ARE GIVEN...your just the same old song instead of spending this time being all hurt and emo and being insecure i'm finally getting to the point were I just wanna make ME happy for the first time I want it to be about ME every other time I went with my heart instead of my mind...this time i'm over it and done...its been a long time coming and i'm finally ready to let go.

So for anyone who's been involved in a complicated relationship for a while and is finally realizing that it just doesn't work at least not now maybe later on down the road if some way or some how this person comes back into your life but at that point will you even want them for all the insecurities and blame they put on you?...probably not just saying... being in love is such a beautiful thing but when it starts to become a routine and the same fight reoccur and you become recluse to the whole situation its time to LET GO!! 

Its time to make life about you get to know you learn what makes you happy...spend time with the people who really love and care about you genuinely your family and closest friends. I have been blessed with such an amazing back bone to fall back onto my family I can depend on thru thick and and thin and the friends that I do trust I can rely on for anything...If you dont have that I suggest you find the people who just make you happy and eliminate the rest, i'm 21 and I know that may not be super old but I've experienced alot and I've done things that i'm not proud of but i've learned from those situation and at this point and time in my life i'm making everything about me and what gonna help me become more successful than I already am. So put on your happy face and I know its hard trust me if anyone knows its me, but you will get thru it and come out so much stronger!

Tell me about your experiences in relationships gone bad or good for that matter...Ask me questions or for advice I'd love to help! Or even things you want us to talk about on our blog!

-xoxoRanita

What Does Love Got To Do With It?

Girls.. Girls... Girls... Teenage boys have the reputation of just wanting to get into them jeans. Me? I could care less, im not bullshitting. Thats how i am. I realized having sexual intercourse is something that should be shared with actual LOVE. Not for you motherfuckers that wanna go around sharing your penis and vagina to each other. But hey thats just me.

I brought the SNAPBACK BACK!

N.K Growing Apart

Listen to my music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGS0WFBbmLw

HeavenOrLasVegas?

PREVEGAS

Veags was an incredible experience, it was a whole 96 hrs of being drunk with my best friend. The first couple hours were amazing our room came with a complimentary bottle of vodka:) im sure you can imagine how that went...we dont drink vodka so a blackout session was sure in store... we walked the strip incoherently and made it safely back to our room for a 6 hr nap lol waking up just a half an hour before new years which we btw spent in an elevator very classy I know! so we said fucckkk it spent the rest of the night with room service which btw we had an awesome server shoutout to Joel haha! for New year day no words! we had an amazing time at the Drizzy Drake concert! We met some really cool people! and I cannot wait to go back again enjoyy:)

 We madeee it

It's a lifestyle

First Time For Everything

What is experience? I say its knowledge, really theres a first time for everything. You go in not knowing the outcome. So what my job here is to tell you stories about what i go through and what you can connect with. So ill read about other peoples stories and theyll read mine, because as everyday goes by WE ALL make history. So its been said lets make this an experience not a first time.

-Nigelxo

First Time For Everything.

So I decided to start a blog to document the crazy things that happen day in and out of our lives, i'll be sharing this site with my brother @nigelxo and my best friend @nedessah...we'll share laughs,feelings,and maybe some of our deepest thoughts and thru the process we'll remember old memories while making new ones. It's a new year, with new fears,hopes,dreams and accomplishmets. Hopefully some of you will be apart of it "and if you ain't apart of it atleast you got to witness" 

-xoxoRanita